


How the Sky Looks Different From the Ground

by InsaneTrollLogic



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1348576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneTrollLogic/pseuds/InsaneTrollLogic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AU where Tobias isn’t an Animorph.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to LJ. Completed 3/18/2009

My name is Tobias and I am human. I never used to feel the need to make that distinction—not the name or the species, really—I mean there aren’t many people out there who actually care about what I’m called. Mostly they call me, ‘Hey, you!’ There’s also a liberal smattering of ‘Hey, loser’ in the mix, but my name is Tobias. You’d think the human part would be a little less necessary but I’m not so sure anymore.  
  
Something seriously strange is going on. I think it started a few months when there was some kids set off fireworks in the abandoned construction site down by the mall. That same night there was a huge rash of UFO sightings.  
  
I am not one of those kids. Sure I spend most of my life with my head in the clouds but that’s because my life down on the ground isn’t something I particularly want to live.  
  
So when I say I’m pretty sure aliens have landed I can only hope you’ll take me seriously.  
  
I’m getting paranoid. I never used to be paranoid. I used to be miserable, but never paranoid. It was a function of getting shuffled from aunt to uncle, neither of whom could be bothered to look after some teenage kid. I wonder what would have happened sometimes if things would have gone differently. I wonder what would have happened if my dad hadn’t died and my mom hadn’t walked out.   
  
But most of all I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met her.  
  
This all started about a year ago. A lot of things can change in a year. Especially if you spend it in moderately paranoid isolation.  
  
A hand settled on my shoulder. I was only a few weeks into high school and after spending middle school with my head shoved down a toilet, I wasn’t keen on keeping with that trend so I clenched my fist, turned and swung.   
  
It wasn’t a good hit. I’d taken enough good clean hits to know the difference, but it was so unexpected, the guy hit the floor.  
  
I was as surprised as everyone else. The entire school went silent. No one used to notice when I took a beating, but now, during passing time everyone stopped. My ears were getting warm. This wasn’t what I wanted. I couldn’t start drawing attention to myself. That would turn into nothing good.   
  
“Tobias,” a voice said over the hush and then the clamor started.  
  
I reverted back to old habits--I ran, weaving through the crowd with skill borne of years of torment. No one followed me and I went to the one place I knew people didn’t look: the library.  
  
Skipping class probably made things worse in the long run but I didn’t care. I was still on the verge of panic so I sat down in the fantasy section of the stacks and clenched my hands to my knees, waiting for my vision to clear. It wasn’t a panic attack but it was close. It had been happening far more then I liked. It started a few months ago. Started when I started having dreams of the ocean. Ended with dreams of dolphins and sharks. Since then things have been less distinct. The odd sound of voices in my head.  
  
I’m not crazy. I promise. A lot of this sounds crazy but I’m not crazy.   
  
I couldn’t get myself under control. I couldn’t be here today. I couldn’t deal with stares and whispers. I forced myself to stand up. I could skip out of the rest of the day. My uncle wasn’t going to be home and the school was well aware of my messed up home life and were more then willing to cut me a break.  
  
That used to bother me. I never wanted that label. I was nobody. I was ‘hey you’ or ‘loser’ or just ‘whatshisface.’ Nowadays I didn’t mind so much. I knew what was at stake.   
  
I debated waiting until the next passing time before making my break for it but decided against it. I shoved my hands in the pocket of my sweatshirt, lowered my head and made my way to the door.  
  
“Tobias!” a voice called behind me.  
  
I froze. I could have made a break for it. I could have just darted at the door, but that would have just called more attention to myself. I turned around at stared at Vice Principal Chapman.  
  
“May I talk to you?”  
  
I stared at my feet as I followed him to the office not saying a word.  
  
According to Grace, Vice principal Chapman is one of them. He is one of the controllers walking around with a yeerk wrapped his brain. My vice principal was an evil alien slug. I’ll be there are millions of kids out there who think they could say the same thing.  
  
The difference was when I say it, it’s true.   
  
Grace used to be one of them. She had a yeerk slug controlling her every movement but she got away and now she’s trying to fight back. Me, I help out when I can but there’s not a lot a kids can do in the face of an alien invasion.  
  
“I heard about your altercation this afternoon, Tobias.”  
  
I wanted to say he started it but for once that wasn’t true so I didn’t say anything.   
  
Chapman shifted behind his desk, arranging his face into one of worry. “Son, you know fighting is a serious offense in this school.”  
  
“So suspend me,” I said before I could stop myself.   
  
Chapman raised an eyebrow. The act was flawless. I almost believed he was completely human. But no, I hadn’t merely antagonized a vice principal. I’d antagonized a yeerk bent on world domination. “How is your home life nowadays, Tobias?” he asked.  
  
“Same as it has been for years,” I told him. Secondhand shoes, secondhand clothes, irregular dinners, little to no supervision. “At least I’m still in the same place.”  
  
“Any measure of continuity can only help your situation, Tobias. I know you’ve had problems with bullying and I know it’s always tempting to fight back but...”  
  
“Violence is not the answer,” I said. “I get it. I shouldn’t have taken a swing at him and I’ll probably it back soon enough. So if I’m in trouble, that’s fine, but if not, I’m missing class.”  
  
“You weren’t going to class,” Chapman said with a knowing smile.  
  
“Fine,” I said. “You caught me.”  
  
“Tobias,” Chapman said, leaning forward in his seat. “There’s an organization you might be interested in. I think it’s a huge help for kids like you.”  
  
My blood went cold. “Who says I need any help?”  
  
“I’m not implying anything, I just thing The Sharing exists for people like you. It’s a great opportunity to interact with your classmates and make some new friends. Our next meeting is on Friday. We would love to see you there.”  
  
“I’ll think about it,” I said. I was unconsciously pressing myself back into the chair, trying to maximize the distance between myself and Chapman. I did not want to go to The Sharing. The Sharing was where controllers were born. That was how it had started for Grace before she’d been lucky enough to escape. She told me she’d ridden to freedom on a horse’s back. Only the horse wasn’t really a horse. Couldn’t have been. There were aliens out there fighting the yeerks. Aliens who could turn into any animal they wanted. They’d gotten Grace out but as far as I can tell, that’s the only progress they’ve made in the past year.  
  
Chapman gave me a big smile, stood up and shook my hand. “I’m going to let you off with a warning this time. I don’t want to see you fighting again, but I understand the need to defend yourself.”   
  
I forced a smile onto my lips. “Thank you, Mr. Chapman.”  
  
The bell for passing time tolled outside and I slipped into the masses of students, breathing hard. I heard someone call my name. I didn’t like this trend. Time was most people didn’t know my name. I kept walking until I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
  
It was Rachel. Rachel had been my lab partner in science in middle school. She was tall blond and beautiful but not what you would expect from someone who looks like that. Rachel defied classifications. She wasn’t really in any groups. Yeah, she was a little intense but she seemed to be a genuinely nice person. She hangs out with her friend Cassie who could actually be her polar opposite, this short, sarcastic guy named Marco. But more and more she’s also been hanging out with her cousin, Jake.  
  
Now I didn’t have any problems with Jack. I guess you could say Jake used to be my friend. He’d stopped a couple of thugs from giving me a swirlie a few years ago. That was Jake. Or at least that was who Jake used to be. Jake was the kind of kid everyone would gravitated toward. A leader. He’d let me hang out with him at the mall some times. He was one of the few kids who could do something like that without making it fell like pity.  
  
Jake’s changed sometime in the past year. He’s quiet and secretive and just different.  
  
I think he might be one of  _them._  
  
“Tobias!”  
  
“Rachel,” I said willing myself to keep the blush out of my cheeks. I’d been nursing a crush on her for years. “Long time no see. How’s the gymnastics going?”  
  
“Gymnastics?” Rachel said faintly, almost like she’d forgotten all about it. “It’s going great. They’re still saying I’m too tall but what can you do?”  
  
“Shrink ray,” I joked.  
  
“If only.” She smiled shyly. “So is it true? Marco said you threw a punch. Knocked some guy out.”  
  
The blush I’d been fighting swept over me before I could stop it. Smooth, Tobias. Smooth. “I really didn’t mean to start—“  
  
“About damn time someone took that jerk out,” Rachel cut me off. “ You get in much trouble?”  
  
“Actually, no,” I said, rubbing at my neck. “Chapman let me off easy. Tried to get me into that feel good club The Sharing but he gave me more or less a free pass.”  
  
There was something guarded in Rachel’s eyes when she asked, “Are you going to go?”  
  
“The Sharing?” I asked. “No, I don’t think so. I’m not really a group activity kind of guy.”  
  
“Good,” Rachel said and then bell rang. “Look, Tobias, it was great seeing you but—“  
  
“Class,” I replied. “I got it.”  
  
“We should hang sometime!” she called as she backed down the hall.  
  
I faltered. We should hang sometime? That actually sounded promising. Like she might actually like me. But that was wrong. This was Rachel. Tall, beautiful Rachel with the supermodel body asking the class punching bag to hang out. This kind of thing never happened.  
  
A second later, I realized the hall was empty, all the students off at their various classes. I contemplated heading to class but opted instead to sneak out the doors by the gym and catch a bus across town.  
  


***

  
  
Grace was a difficult person to find even if you knew where to look. When she’d rode a horse out of the yeerk pool she couldn’t exactly go back to her normal life. She tended to sleep in the woods these days. There were smatterings of cabins all over where she might sleep on any given day.   
  
I didn’t really know why I needed to talk to her this badly. Something about the fight and Chapman and Rachel had finally sent me over the edge and in a strange sort of way, she’d become my family. I’d needed that more then I thought. A year ago I’d been some passive, dreamy kid without anyone I could call a friend.  
  
And then I’d put a face on a missing poster together with the face of an actual person. Grace O’Neil had been the subject of a enormous manhunt. I remembered being a little baffled by it, wondering why this person out of all the missing people out there got so much attention. The news reported that she’d disappeared following a meeting of the Sharing and the higher members of the club had spend thousands of dollars on finding her.   
  
But they hadn’t found her.   
  
I had.  
  
I’d spotted her on one of my walks through the woods and had barely formed the words, I know you, before she’d tried to take me down. It only took a few seconds for her to realize I was far from a trained soldier looking for her and for me to realize she didn’t really want to be found.  
  
To this day I still don’t know why she told me the whole story. I mean I didn’t know her and I wasn’t exactly in her peer group. Grace had been a grad student at the university nearby, heavily involved in biomedical research and undergraduate mentoring while I had been a perpetually bullied middle schooler. I guess it was just being in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong place at the wrong time. Really depended on your point of view.  
  
Today, Grace found me before I found her. I heard the faintest rustling of leaves before she just appeared behind me. “Tobias?” she said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”  
  
I held out a bag I’d brought from McDonald’s. “Figured you could use some grease in your diet.”  
  
She took the bag, opened the top and took a deep whiff of French fries and burgers. “Tobias,” she said, collapsing against a tree and helping herself. “You’re a god.”  
  
I went to sit over by her. She noticed my discomfort between bites of burger. “Come on, kid what’s going on. I’m thrilled to see you of course but I’m not so far out of it that I don’t realize you’re cutting class.”  
  
“It’s Saturday,” I lied.   
  
“You’re full of it,” Grace retorted. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”  
  
I kicked at a bit of dirt on the ground. “Chapman’s on me to join the Sharing.”  
  
“Really?” Grace asked mildly. “What put you on his radar?”  
  
“I might have punched someone,” I mumbled.  
  
Grace stopped chewing and started at me for a long moment before she smiled and clapped me on the back. “Good for you, kiddo. About time you started fighting back.”  
  
“Put Chapman on my radar though.”  
  
“Come off it, Chapman wants everyone to join the sharing.” She threw a fry that hid me in the cheek and bounced off to the ground. “What’s really bugging you?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“You do realize you’re the only human contact I get on any regular basis, right?”  
  
I sighed and refused to give her anything. Grace had been hiding out for more then a year now. If it were me, I think I would have skipped town, but she’d stayed. She’d stayed and kept watch on the city, quietly gathering information about a war she had no means to win. I would have bolted to enjoy my freedom I think. I would have gotten as far away from here as I could, dyed my hair, changed my name and never came back. But not Grace.  
  
“It’s a girl then, huh?” she teased.   
  
“It’s a yeerk,” I said. “The girl I mean. She said we should hang some time but it wasn’t her. It was a yeerk.”  
  
“You can’t know that, Tobias.”  
  
But I did because why would Rachel start talking to me after all this time. We’d barely been friends before. I mean I’d liked her. The kind of like her that was more then just like her but she’d barely spoken to me out of class. Nowadays she hung out with Jake. Jake who had changed more then anyone this past year. Jake who was almost undoubtedly slave to a yeerk slug in his brain. The evidence was there laid out in front of me and I could read it even if I didn’t want to. “Yeah, but it’s sure a damn good guess.” I shrugged and forced a smile. “On the bright side, I think I may have figured out a way into the yeerk pool.”  
  
“In what universe is that good news?”  
  
“Intelligence you know. It’s at the McDonalds. The password is happy meal with extra happy.”  
  
“That sounds like a bad joke, not a yeerk pool red flag.”  
  
“The past three trips I’ve made I heard three different grown adults without any sign of a kid make the same bad joke. Sounds yeerk to me.”   
  
“So what can we do with this,” Grace wondered aloud.   
  
“Blow the place up?” I offered. “Do some surveillance and mail what we find to the government?”  
  
“I don’t know, kid,” Grace said, “but we’ll think of something.”


	2. Chapter 2

My uncle was watching TV with a beer in one hand and a slackened jaw when I finally got home. “Someone came asking about you today.”  
  
“Sorry,” I mumbled.   
  
“They left you a letter,” he said. “I don’t want to hear anything else about it.”  
  
“You won’t,” I promised, grabbing the letter as I pushed into my room.  
  
The room was a mess. There were clothes, mostly product of the salvation army, scattered through on the floor. I started throwing them in a duffle bag. The laundry mat was a few blocks away. I figured I could get my homework done while I was at it. I think I still had the quarters for it.   
  
I opened the letter first. Some lawyer named DeGroot. I read it quickly and did a double take.   
  
They were in possession of a letter from my father.   
  
My father who was dead. Who had been dead for a long time. I always figured that was why my mom hadn’t stuck around as well. I didn’t harbor a hell of a lot of good will toward the man. It was silly, yeah, but I always kind of blame him for my life. The ungrateful, dead bastard.  
  
DeGroot’s contact information was at the bottom of the letter. Call and make an appointment. Couldn’t hurt, I figured. If I was lucky he’d left me some money.  
  
I called the lawyer and set up a meeting during the school day. I could have probably scheduled one for later but anytime I could skip out on class was a good day for me.   
  


***

  
  
The next morning, I took the bus downtown. DeGroot’s office was in the heart of the city. I stopped at the strip mall across the straight, eyeing the candy in the check out line of a department store. I hadn’t eaten breakfast and my stomach was growling its annoyance. I didn’t have the cash to buy it and for a long second my fingers itched to just grab it and sneak it into my pocket but I’d had the strange sensation that I was being followed. I looked over my shoulder and saw a northern harrier perched on the ledge of the building the next street over. But that was ridiculous. Help! I’m being stalked by a bird of prey. I already got picked on for being a day dreamer. This wouldn’t help my cause.  
  
I put the candy bar back on the shelf and walked out of the store and into DeGroot’s law practice. The secretary eyed me skeptically. I guess I didn’t blame her. I was wearing a threadbare hoodie that used to be blue and a pair of jeans that had a hole in the knee.   
  
I told her my name and asked for Mr. DeGroot.  
  
“It’s pronounced DeGroot,” she said waspishly. “It rhymes with boat.”  
  
“Oh,” I said mildly, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.  
  
“Let me just check with Mr. DeGroot,” she said. She picking up her phone delicately with manicured nails. “Mr. DeGroot, there’s a young man named Tobias out here. He says—Oh. All right.”  
  
She hung up and looked at me with renewed curiosity. “I guess he does want to see you. Right through that door.”   
  
DeGroot was younger than I’d expected. I’d imagined a decrepit old man with a wizened smile but he was in his twenties or thirties. His jacket was thrown casually over chair. He was wearing a white dress shirt and red suspenders. He didn’t look like a threat but that bothered me more then anything. Outside the window, I could see the harrier perched on a building across the street.  
  
DeGroot got to his feet and smiled.   
  
“So, you are Tobias.”  
  
I shook his hand a twisted my face into a smile. “Yes. I'm Tobias.”  
  
He looked me up and down, frowning at my attire. I sat down.  
  
“I’m glad I could get a hold of you, Tobias. Have a seat, please. Would you like some water? A soda? Coffee? No, I guess you don't drink coffee at your age. A soda? We have Coke, Diet Coke. And we might have some Dr. Brown's cream soda. I'd have to have Ingrid check.”  
  
I frowned a little. I didn’t really know why I was so nervous. It must have been Grace and the rest of this past year finally getting to me. I kept expecting him to pull a gun or something. “No thanks, I’m fine.”  
  
DeGroot nodded and leaned back in his chair. “I understand you’ve been staying with your uncle.”  
  
“Yeah,” I said. “Does this have something to do with why you wanted to see me?”  
  
DeGroot nodded, slightly taken aback. “No actually. I represent your father’s estate.”  
  
“My father’s dead,” I said.  
  
“Tobias..." DeGroot leaned across the desk. I unconsciously leaned back. “Your father, that father, the man who died? That may not have been your real father.”  
  
“What?”   
  
“I have a document. . . it’s a strange situation. Very strange. Look, Tobias, I'm going to level with you. My father used to run this office. He's dead, too. He left this document along with the rest of his client’s papers. But on this he wrote me specific instructions. Very specific. On the date of your next birthday your father’s last statement was to be read to you, if at all humanly possible.”   
  
I didn't know what to say.  
  
“Are you all right?” DeGroot asked. “This is a lot to take in.”  
  
Something was... off about this. I couldn’t help but think of Chapman taking to me about the Sharing and Jake moving through the school like a completely different person. “I’m fine.”  
  
DeGroot looked like he didn’t believe me but he shuffled through his papers and continued anyway. “On top of this, there’s a new complication. I was contacted by a woman named Aria, who says she is your cousin. Your great-aunt's daughter. Apparently she's only just learned of your situation. She's a very acclaimed nature photographer   
and she's been on a long-term assignment in Africa. She wants to meet you.”  
  
“Oh.” My stomach turned over. This was something I’d dreamed about as a kid. Something I’d always wanted. A mysterious relative come to take me from this place. My mom coming back.   
  
“She'd like to meet you tomorrow. At the hotel where she's staying. If that's okay. It's the Hyatt downtown. Do you know where that is?”  
  
“Yes,” I said. “I think I can find it.”  
  
“Do you need an money?” DeGroot hedged. “A place to spend the night?”  
  
“I do have a house,” I said. “I can take care of myself.”  
  
“In that case, Tobias, I’ll see you on your birthday for the reading.”  
  
“Of course,” I said. “Goodbye. It was nice to meet you.”  
  
He shook my hand again. His palms were just slightly damp. I went back out to the strip mall. The harrier was still perched on the building across the street staring at me. I waved at it. It was stupid but it made me feel better. I didn’t like this. I mean I wanted it more then anything. Wanted to have a mysterious father materialize out of the wind and a cousin who actually wanted me.  
  
There were too many coincidences. Too much happening all at once and I probably would have jumped at this a year ago but things were different now. Stuff out of my daydreams I didn’t believe.   
  
Stuff of nightmares on the other hand, that I did believe.  
  
I went looking for Grace. I needed to talk this over with someone, needed advice from someone even more paranoid then I was, but today Grace was nowhere to be found. I didn’t worry about it. I knew she tended to lay low during the day and wouldn’t bother expecting me this early on a school day.  
  
If I’d have just kept looking, maybe none of this would have happened.  
  


***

  
  
My meeting with Aria was, to put it plainly, the oddest two hours of my entire life. When I made it to the hotel Aria had her camera the ready and barely time to introduce herself before saying she’d been pulled to an urgent job. I’d been expecting this of course, been expecting to be blown off because I knew how my family worked.   
  
But then she’d looked over her shoulder and asked I wanted to come with her.  
  
Which is how I found myself at Frank’s Safari Land staring at what the billboard proclaimed:  _The Living Razor; Deadly Midget Freak._  
  
“What the hell is it?” I muttered to Aria.   
  
The thing was almost three feet tall, wrists and ankles sporting razor sharp blades that looked like they could do some serious damaged even despite its miniscule size.   
  
“I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” Aria admitted leaning closer the cage.  
  
The creature inside stared back at her. I hung back trying to keep the worry out of my face. I’d seen these things before. Grace had called them Hork-Bajir. I’d only seen them once before back when I’d demanded proof of her story. That had been the last straw for me. The point that had forced me out of my comfortable state of denial.   
  
They were all infested. This one was no different. It was dangerous. It had to be.   
  
Frank, of Frank’s Safari Land approached us slowly, eyeing Aria’s camera with distaste. “Look, lady, I'm not trying to bust your chops here. But if you want to take pictures, that's extra.”  
  
“But, Mr. Hallowell--”  
  
“Call me Frank,” he leered.   
  
Aria glanced sideways at me and said, “Okay, Frank. I'm a professional nature photographer. I would be happy to give you some copies of the pictures in payment.”  
  
The man sneered. "I need a picture of the freak, I'll take a Polaroid---“  
  
I stopped listening, instead bending in toward the caged creature. It followed me looking almost hopeful, not at all what I would have expected of a yeerk host. “What is it?”  
  
I glanced back up to look at Frank and Aria. Aria shrugged. "I don't know. I've never seen anything like it.” She turned to Frank. “But you know, you shouldn't call it a 'freak.'"  
  
"Not politically correct, huh?" Frank said knowingly.  
  
“It looks like an alien,” I blurted.   
  
They both went silent, staring at me. Even the creature was staring at me. I felt a blush creeping up my neck. I didn’t like being the center of attention.  
  
“I couldn’t definitively say no,” Aria allowed.  
  
“Alien, huh?” A smile crept up Frank’s slimy face. "Hey, that's not a bad idea. Lot of crazy people out there believe in all that UFO, space alien crap."  
  
Aria shook her head. “Well, as long as you're changing things, maybe you could show a little humanity to these animals. They need bigger cages, more light, more fresh air. At the very least."  
  
"I'll think on that," Frank said with an expression that said he'd do no such thing.  
  
Aria, put a hand on my shoulder and steered me out of Frank’s Safari Land. When safely out of earshot, she hissed, “That son of a bitch.”  
  
I let out a snort of laughter before I could stop myself. Aria slapped a hand over her mouth, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”  
  
“Really?” I asked. “Because I agree with you one hundred and ten percent.”  
  
“It tears me apart to see animals treated like that, Tobias. I’m really sorry you had to see something like this. Rest assured I’ll find a way to bring it up with the proper authorities.”  
  
She checked her watch. “I really hate to cut our time short but as you can tell, a rather pressing matter has come up. If it’s all right with you, I was planning to come hear your father’s letter. Maybe I could speak with your uncle about a change in residence. That is if you’d like it.”  
  
I would like it. It was every orphan’s dream to be whisked away from their tattered reality by a distant relative. I shoved my hands into my pocket. “Getting in touch with my uncle’s going to be the hard part about all this.”  
  
She called me a cab and instructed the driver to take me home. After we were three blocks away, I redirected him to the mall. I didn’t really like the idea of spending the rest of the day in my uncle’s presence. I bummed around in the arcade for a few hours, I still had some quarters left over from laundry last night and I could probably make it a whole month before I needed to start scrounging again.   
  
My game of choice involved killing zombies. I’d had some people comment on that before. If people bothered to think of it, they certainly wouldn’t peg me as someone with a knack for this sort of thing. They wouldn’t peg me as someone good at lying either but it’s amazing what necessity can do for you.  
  
“Hey!” someone called from across the mall. “Hey, Tobias is that you?”  
  
I turned around just as on screen a zombie took a bite out of my arm. Dead. Another quarter bites the dust. Rachel was smiling at me from just outside the arcade. I looked back at the game screen, half convinced I’d lost myself in some sort of fantasy but when I turned back around, she was still there.  
  
And she was still there. I looked around on the off chance there was another Tobias in the area. When I was satisfied there was not one else around, I said, “Hey, Rachel.”  
  
“Didn’t see you in school yesterday,” Rachel said. “What happened? Did Chapman decide to suspend you after all?”  
  
I forced a laugh. “No. I was sick.”  
  
Or I’d called myself in sick. Same difference really.  
  
“You look fine today,” Rachel said.   
  
“Well, I feel fine today.”  
  
Her eyes narrowed but her voice remained playful. “Cutting class, huh?”  
  
“Why are you acting like we’re friends?” I blurted before I could stop myself.   
  
That stopped her in her tracks. “What?”  
  
“Yesterday was the first time you’ve talked to me in more then a year. And now you’re saying hey in the mall and you’ve always been nice to me but that doesn’t mean we’re actually friends.”  
  
Rachel shifted her weight from one foot to another. “And I’m not allowed to try to change that?”  
  
“Not this week. No,” I said, rubbing at the back of my neck. “Look I’m sorry, but I just—I’ve got to go.”  
  
“You know, you’ve changed, Tobias,” Rachel called after me.  
  
I turned around, but kept moving away from her. “You say that like I’m the only one.”  
  
As I walked toward the exit and the bus stop, I felt like I was hyperaware of the entire scene. I saw a poster for the Sharing on the wall. I counted three different people looking in my direction. I shoved my hand in my pocket and put my head down.   
  
And then I saw something familiar out of the corner of my eyes and I stopped dead in my tracks. The news was playing in a big screen television in the window of an electronics store. In the top right corner was a familiar face with her dark hair and wide smile.  
  
Grace.  
  
I ducked into the store, walking to the display so I could hear the audio.  
  
 _The body of twenty-seven year old Grace O’Neil was recovered in the woods a half mile out of town today. O'Neil who was first reported missing over a year ago was the subject of a nationwide search---_  
  
The televisions were twisted in front of me, pictures blurring into one. Grace was dead. Grace who’d escaped the yeerks. Grace who’d been my first real friend. Grace who was the only person I still trusted.  
  
Dead.   
  
I couldn’t breathe. I found myself stumbling toward the bathroom, my stomach churning. I dry heaved into the first stall thankful I hadn’t really eaten all day.   
  
Grace was dead. She’d escaped the yeerks to what? Die a year later? It didn’t seem fair. It felt like she should have gone down fighting. Not erased as if she’d never been there. The scene slowly stopped spinning. I pulled myself to my feet. On the door to the stall there was a flyer for a meeting of the Sharing this Friday. I rubbed at my eyes and stared at it.  
  
A meeting this Sunday. Open to all people. Newcomers encouraged.  
  
I snatched the flyer from the wall. The Sharing was a yeerk organization. Which means there was going to have to be some sort of proof somewhere in the vicinity. If I could just find proof of what was happening, I might be able to do something. I might be able to change something.   
  
I felt myself relaxing somehow. I could do this. I’ve fought losing battles before—well, more accurately, I’ve lost losing battles—but this was something I needed to do.  
  
I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom. “Hello,” a voice said from somewhere behind me. “Lo. Hello.”  
  
Turning around, I came face to face with an oddly familiar guy with weirdly pretty features. “What?”  
  
“You appear distressed. Stressed. Is there anything I can do help you?” He paused and then added. “You. Ew.”  
  
“No,” I said, trying to eliminate the distress from my voice. “No I’m all right. Thanks. I guess.”  
  
“I wish you success in your endeavor,” the weird guy said. “Deavor.”  
  
I put my head down, shoved my hands in my pockets and made my way out of the mall. 


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn’t go to the funeral. I had no apparent external connections to Grace O’Neil, but I made my way over to the cemetery anyway under the guise of visiting my dad’s grave marker. I always felt weird when I came here because I never really knew my father. With the fact that he might not even be my real dad I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to think anymore.   
  
“I thought I might find you here.”  
  
The one place I never expected to be bothered was a cemetery. As a matter of fact I was willing to bet there was something wrong with anyone who sought someone out in a cemetery.  
  
Aria appeared over my right shoulder, not saying anything. I didn’t want Aria to be one of those people. “He’s still your dad, you know,” she told me softly. “Even if it wasn’t biological, he was still your dad.”  
  
“You know,” I said, voice completely neutral. She shouldn’t be here. There was something wrong with people who went to cemetaries for social arrangements. “I barely remember the guy. I mean sometimes I like I remember the idea of him more then the actual man. I just wonder what it means if he isn’t my dad. It means he was some stranger.”  
  
Aria wrapped an arm over my shoulders. I tried not to flinch at the physical contact, but I couldn’t help it. It had been so long since anyone touched me with any sort of affection. I went stiff and after a moment, Aria pulled away.   
  
“Please say I’m not that kid,” I said. “The one who seems like he’d hang out in cemeteries.”  
  
“No,” Aria said. “But it wasn’t a huge stretch to think you might be here.”  
  
I wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for Grace’s funeral going on not one hundred yards away. This was me paying my respects to her. I’d made my peace with the man I thought was my father ages ago.  
  
“Do you mind,” I coughed. “Do you mind leaving? I really just want to be alone.”  
  
“Of course,” Aria said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
  
“I can stay if you need a ride.”  
  
“I’m fine. Really.”  
  
Aria left me alone and I sat down, back pressed against my dad’s tombstone and listened to the quiet sermon from Grace O’Neil’s funeral drift to my ears. Words about how she was kind and good and didn’t deserve her fate.  
  
They didn’t know her.  
  
They didn’t know how Grace was strong or how she walked out of a nightmare to keep trying. They didn’t know how she could still smile and laugh after everything she’d been through. She hadn’t been a victim at all. It seemed wrong that that was how she would be remembered.  
  
I stayed for two hours after her funeral was over, waited until I was sure I was alone and I said goodbye.  
  
And then I went to the Sharing.  
  


***

  
  
If I didn’t know what this was, I think I would have stayed. The Sharing owned a building stockpiled with video games, pool tables, chips, dip and pizza as well as the largest television I’d ever seen.   
  
Chapman caught up with me when I’d been there not twenty minutes putting a hand on my shoulder. I flinched at the human contact but managed to recover quickly enough and offered a smile. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to see you here,” Chapman said. “I half thought your vice principal being a member had turned you off for good.”  
  
“I don’t have a problem with you, sir,” I said quietly and thought of how many people in this room had beaten me up through the years. The number was approaching eleven.   
  
Chapman laughed and said, “Have they assigned you a senior mentor yet? We try to make sure every new person has a full member of the Sharing that they can talk to.”  
  
“No, sir,” I said. “No one at the moment.”  
  
Chapman waved over a tall lanky guy with dark brown hair and an easy smile. His name was Dave and he was almost definitely slave to a yeerk slug in his brain but was still nicer to me then anyone had been in a long time.  
  
I really liked him. He showed me a few tricks for a video game I liked and offered to show me how to shoot a game of pool.   
  
I said no but God help me, I really wanted to say yes. Dave grinned and patted me on the back and said he’d be back after the meeting of the full members.  
  
Full members.   
  
Yeerks.  
  
I needed to get in that meeting. I had an old tape recorder in the pocket of my cargo pants. I needed to get close enough to that meeting to catch something incriminating on tape so I could mail it to the news or the president or someone who would listen.   
  
Grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza, I started making my way to the back room.  
  
“Tobias!” someone called.   
  
I turned around, smiled and took a bite of the pizza, hoping I looked completely natural. The stringy cheese stretched and fell down, a single thread dangling on my chin. “Rachel,” I said, hurriedly. “What are you doing here, Rachel? I didn’t think you were in the Sharing.”  
  
“I’m here with a friend,” Rachel said. “You remember Melissa, right? Her dad’s one of the key members.” She smiled and touched my shoulder. I tried to control my reaction. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you didn’t do group activities.”  
  
“Talked into it,” I said. “The way I figure, I do this and maybe Chapman lets me keep flying below the radar.” I shrugged. “It’s not all bad. I mean there’s free pizza.” I held up the remainder of my slice. I may be attempting to infiltrate a yeerk organization all by my lonesome but at least I didn’t have to make myself dinner tonight.  
  
“Me too,” Rachel said. “But I always feel awkward at these big functions. Like I don’t really fit in you know.”  
  
“I couldn’t imagine you ever not fitting in,” I blurted and then I felt the blush creeping up my neck. I actually just said that. This was not good. I needed to abort. Rachel was supposed to be a yeerk. Sure I didn’t know before, but the differences in behavior, showing up at the Sharing. The evidence was nearing irrefutable. I needed to get over this crush or whatever it was before it got me killed.  
  
“Do you want to get out of here?” Rachel asked, shifting her feet nervously. “Grab a soda at the mall or something?”  
  
“Yes,” I answered immediately. “Yeah of course.”  
  
Rachel smiled. It light her whole face up. I thought about Grace, our last conversation echoing in my head:  
  
 _“It’s a girl then, huh?”_  
  
“It’s a yeerk.”   
  
“You can’t know that, Tobias.”  
  
But she was dead now. I wondered how it happened. I wondered if it was her optimism that had finally gotten the better of her. Wondered if it was because she trusted someone she shouldn’t have.  
  
“Let’s go then,” Rachel said, looping and arm through my own.   
  
The mall was a dozen blocks away and the sun had already set. Rachel started moving the long way around, but I caught her by the shoulder and asked, “Hey, why don’t we just cut through the old construction site?”  
  
Something flickered through her face that I didn’t understand and didn’t particularly like. “The construction site,” she repeated. “I thought that was off limits.”  
  
“A spot in the fence is open,” I replied. “Come on, it’s twice as fast as taking the long way.”  
  
“I never expect to hear something like that coming from you,” Rachel teased.  
  
“You don’t know me at all,” I retorted.  
  
“No,” Rachel frowned as I pulled back the fence on the abandoned construction site to let her through. “No, I guess I don’t.”  
  
I grinned at her and slipped through after her.   
  
“It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” Rachel said thoughtfully. “I used to use this shortcut all the time.”  
  
“The aliens scare you off?” I asked. “Because that’s when I started coming by.”  
  
“Why am I not surprised?”  
  
That gave me pause. Before this all happened, I wasn’t one of the space freaks. I was just a dreamer. There was a difference. I floundered, wondering if I should correct her. Debating if she was more or less likely to drag me back to the yeerk pool for infestation if I actually believed in this stuff.  
  
In the end I didn’t say anything.   
  
Rachel for her part seemed content to be silent. She was looking around the old construction site with a fondness tinged with regret. She glanced over at me, and I turned bright red.  
  
We made it to the mall with about an hour until closing time. Rachel glanced over at me and announced she was getting a milkshake. I put my hands in my pocket, praying I actually had the cash to pay for one of my own. By some miracle, I came up with enough to pay for myself but not enough to pay for Rachel’s.  
  
Somehow we ended up in a secluded corner of the food court, just sitting awkwardly across from one another. Across the mall, I see Jake’s friend, Marco looking at us. I wondered what he must think. Rachel was the prettiest girl in our class and I was the punching bag.  
  
“There something wrong, Tobias?” Rachel asked, lowering her head to take a sip from her vanilla milk shake.   
  
“What?” I asked, snapping back into reality.  
  
“I said is there something wrong? You seem really sad about something.”  
  
“My best friend just died,” I said before I could stop myself  
  
“Oh God,” Rachel said. “Tobias, I’m so sorry.”  
  
It wasn’t until her hand touched mine that I snapped out of my trace and saw the need to start lying. “It was back across the country. From where I used to live with my aunt. I just found out tonight but there’s no way I could make it to the funeral...”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said again, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.  
  
I shook it off, standing up abruptly. “I need to get out of here. I’m---I’m sorry. I just, I can’t be here right now.”  
  
“Tobias! Where are you going?”  
  
I couldn’t do this right now. I needed to get away, I needed to think. I bumped shoulders with Marco as I left but didn’t even bother turning back. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next day at school, Chapman cornered me before first period. The yeerk was smiling, hiding behind his borrowed skin and tailored suit. “Tobias,” it said amiably. “It was good to have you at the meeting. What did you think?”  
  
I would have preferred to walk away without answering but I didn’t think there was any way I could conceivably pretend I hadn’t heard him. “I had a good time,” I said, trying to keep my voice friendly.  
  
“I guess that means we’ll be seeing you again soon?”  
  
I forced a smile. “Count on it.”  
  
Chapman gave me a satisfied, almost fatherly smile and moved on to recruit some other poor lost soul to the yeerk army. I started moving away but bumped straight into Jake’s friend, Marco, staring at me with crossed arms. “What I want to know,” he said, “is why they’re going after you so hard.”  
  
I looked over my shoulder trying to see if he was talking to someone over my shoulder. There was no one there. “I’m sorry?”  
  
“I said—“ Marco stepped in closer to me. “—why is the Sharing breaking out the red carpet for you? I mean I’m the funny one and Rachel’s got the whole make me a supermodel thing going on but they’re gunning for daydream believer.”  
  
“Daydream believer?” I echoed.   
  
“It’s still early,” Marco said shaking his head. “It takes a little while for me to get warmed up. The Sharing though? Any organization that houses Chapman cannot be good.”  
  
You don’t have to tell me.  
  
I nodded, pretending to dismiss his information as I pushed past him. “Right.”  
  
“Seriously though,” Marco called after me. “Legions of pure evil!”  
  
I pretended not to hear him.  
  


***

  
  
Biology crawled by at a snail’s pace. Things were more interesting last year when Rachel was actually my lab partner but this year, her and Cassie sat in the farthest back corner of the room talking in hushed voices. I was doodling absently on my paper, completely forgetting to take notes. Halfway through the lecture, someone snatched my paper from me. “What have we got here?”  
  
What they had was a picture of Grace now marred almost past recognition by an ugly scratch of graphite. I felt a hot flush creeping up my neck. “Give that back,” I said, quietly.  
  
“What’s wrong, Tobias?” the guy sneered. “This your girlfriend?”  
  
I looked up. It was Bryce Daniels. The kid I’d leveled last week when I’d finally snapped. He had a dark black bruise under one eye and a sneer on his lips.   
  
The teacher stopped mid-lecture. “Is there are problem, Mr. Daniels?”  
  
“No ma’am,” he said sweetly, turning around in his seat but taking my sketch with him. “No at all. Continue.”  
  
“I’m very glad to have your permission, Mr. Daniels.” The professor went back on with her lecture, but I couldn’t make myself listen.   
  
I stared at the back of Bryce’s head, an odd sort of explosion taking place in the pit of my stomach. He didn’t have the right. He couldn’t just do something like this to me and get away with it. I was dealing with Grace’s death and my whole family blowing up and the yeerk invasion. I didn’t need to be dealing with jerks like him on top of everything else.   
  
We moved into the actual lab portion of the class about ten minutes later and while I was preparing my slide, Bryce moved over to my lab bench and put the doodle down in front of me and walked away. I unfolded the paper slowly. There was a note scrawled over the dark outline of Grace’s face.   
  
 _Payback’s a bitch._  
  
Two years ago, I would have been terrified. I would have tried to think of an excuse to leave early. I would have found Jake and hidden behind the bigger guy until I could sneak away to safety. But I wasn’t that guy anymore.  
  
I went back to preparing the sample slide with very little nervousness and had nearly forgotten all about the threat until Bryce slammed me into the wall and dragged me into the men’s bathroom while I was still dazed. I regained my footing as Bryce shoved me into the door. “You made me look like an asshole last week,” he said. “And I’m going to make you bleed for it.”  
  
I pulled myself upright and straightened my back. “I’m not afraid of you,” I said.  
  
I’ve seen monsters and people possessed and gravestones of people the mattered. I’ve seen the alien invasion the rest of the world doesn’t want to find. Of course I’m not afraid of Bryce Daniels.  
  
“So take another whack at me,” Bryce said, pushing my left shoulder. “Prove this wasn’t a fluke.”  
  
I couldn’t do that though. Not now. The last thing I needed was another one on one meeting with Chapman. There’d been too many of those these past few days. I couldn’t help but think of Marco arms folded, smirking and demanding,  _“What I want to know is why they’re going after you so hard.”_  
  
There was some puzzle laying here, the disjointed scramble of pieces just out of my reach. I was missing some key fact, something that would make everything tumble into place. “I’m not going to fight you,” I said and tried to walk past him.   
  
He moved to block my path and I felt that all too familiar sinking in my gut. I may have taken Bryce down a few days ago but history was not in my favor. Bryce was four inches taller then me and at least fifty pounds heavier. He’d made the football team as a freshman and I spend most of my free time buried in a book.  
  
This could end badly.   
  
“Let me out,” I said.  
  
“No,” Bryce retorted and shoved me again.  
  
A white hot flash of rage swept through my vision and I shoved him right back. Bryce grinned and punched me in the stomach. I doubled over, seeing spots and then his knee came back up slamming into my chin and I staggered backward stumbling into one of the stalls, steadying myself on the porcelain toilet seat.   
  
Bryce snarled and made his way toward me.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?” someone said from the door to the bathroom and in another life, I would have been thrilled to see them there. I would have followed them around for a year like I did when Jake first saved me from a similar fate.  
  
“I’m just giving this little punk what he deserves,” Bryce told the intruder.   
  
What followed was borderline surreal. There were two guys I recognized vaguely who pulled Bryce away from me and sent him on his way. When he was gone, they came over to me and offered me a hand up. The taller one clapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey, Tobias, you all right.”  
  
I shrugged the hand off my shoulder. “I didn’t ask for your help.”  
  
Neither of them seemed deterred. “We’re just watching out for one of our own.”  
  
As unobtrusively as I could, I tried to sidle my way out of the bathroom. “I’m not even sure if I’ve met you before.”  
  
“I’m Mike and this is Darren. We saw you at the Sharing yesterday. And we have to look out for each other.”  
  
There was a pit forming in my stomach. The first nice unselfish thing anyone had done for me in weeks and it was a yeerk plot. It had ulterior motives. I forced a smile to my lips. “Thanks, man.”  
  
“Don’t mention it,” Darren said. “Hey, we’ll be seeing you at the next meeting, right?”  
  
The strain of keeping the smile on my face was almost unbearable. “Yeah, count on it.”  
  
“Good to hear,” Mike said. “You want us to stick around until you get to the next class?”  
  
“I don’t need protecting,” I mumbled.   
  
“Never said you did, but there’s strength in numbers. Part of the Sharing is being a part of something bigger then yourself.”  
  
“Look, thanks for helping me and all but I kind of need to clean myself up before next class.”  
  
That seemed to give them the hint. Darren smiled and said, “Cool, we’ll see you at the next meeting.”  
  
When the door swung shut, I was left in the mercifully empty bathroom. I examined myself in the bathroom mirror. I’d busted my lip slightly in the scuffle, but as far as injuries went I was better off then I usually was.   
  
I barely looked like the kid I was when I moved her more than a year ago. My blonde hair had darkened a few shades. There were dark circles under my eyes and a gaunt cast to my cheeks. I turned on the water faucet and splashed some water onto my face.   
  
I wasn’t sure how much longer then I could do this. The stress of everything was starting to pile up until it was almost choking me. I needed someone like Grace tying me down, reminding me why I was fighting.   
  
Unbidden a picture of Rachel swam into my mind. Rachel with her long, blonde hair and dark eyes smiling at me when no one else would. She was probably infested. Working with Chapman to get a yeerk slug in my ear.   
  
But I knew what Grace would have said to my doubts. She’d tousle my hair, grin and tell me to go for it anyway. She’d tell me to take a risk, to ask Rachel out.  
  
And I should ask her out. There was a school dance in two weeks. Homecoming, I think. One of those things I never would attend by myself. Where I would spend the entire time standing awkwardly in the corner, lips dyed red from an excess of fruit punch. It was the kind of place where people like Rachel would thrive.   
  
In that moment, I made my decision and before I could talk myself out of it, I found myself pushing my way out of the bathroom and turning into a different hallway, one that I was sure housed Rachel’s locker. She was standing under the stairwell when I spotted her, deep in conversation with Cassie. My throat clenched. My palms started sweating. I closed my eyes for a second as I thought I heard Grace whisper,  _You deserve some fun every once in a while, kid._  
  
I approached the two girls resolutely, willing my voice to work but before I could say anything, I heard what they were talking about.  
  
“I’m just not sure I’m really comfortable with this,” Cassie said. “I mean, he’s a person. It’s not right.”  
  
“It’s the mission,” Rachel said in a low, even tone. “We’ve been over this a hundred times. I can handle Tobias.”  
  
“Not exactly doing your best job, are you?” Cassie retorted. “I mean Marco’s started taking bets on if he’s gay. Ever consider he’s just not interested? And maybe that’s a good thing.”  
  
“Oh, he’s interested,” Rachel said, tossing her hair. “I can get this job done---”  
  
“Is this some kind of joke?” I sputtered before I could stop myself. Both girls turned toward me, slack jawed. Tears threatened my vision. I brushed them angrily away. “A bet to see if Rachel could convince some loser that she actually liked him?”  
  
Cassie’s dark skin had lightened a few shades. Rachel’s face was twisted in a parody of pity. I didn’t want her pity. “Tobias,” she said.  
  
“I can’t believe I actually fell for it,” I continued, the words tumbling out of my mouth.  
  
“Tobias, please,” Rachel pleaded. “Let me explain.”  
  
“Save it for someone who cares,” I spat, bumping shoulders with her ask I walked away.  
  
I didn’t look back.  
  


***

  
  
Not a lot of people know how to get to the school’s roof, but I was one of the lucky few. I waited until the halls had emptied for class and then I made my way up the flight of stairs and worked at the loosely locked door handle until it came unlocked.   
  
It was a sunny day, the sky filled with billowing white clouds. I closed the door behind me and sat against the ledge, leaning back so I could watch the birds tearing through the clouds. There was a plane high up in the sky and I wondered how much longer I was going to be here. It had been more than a year since my Aunt shipped me cross-country to live with my uncle which meant that any day now my Uncle could ship me back and then I wouldn’t have these yeerk problems. I could disappear if I needed to.   
  
And then there was Aria the message from my mysterious father. Everything could change. Maybe I’d be able to move in with my cousin and go to nature shoots with her. Maybe I could have a happy ending.  
  
But I didn’t believe that. Not anymore. Grace was dead. The thing with Rachel was nothing short of disastrous. For reasons unknown, Chapman had picked out my own personal brain slug. I had no doubt the thing with Aria would go sour as well. I couldn’t spend my days with my head up in the clouds and the sky looks very different from the ground.  
  
I lost track of time as I sat on the roof, stared at the clouds and thought about hope.


	5. Chapter 5

I put on my best clothes, faked a phone call to the school saying I had a family emergency and left my uncle’s house for the meeting with DeGroot at just past nine in the morning. He mumbled something at me as I moved past the door but it didn’t sound anything like happy birthday was supposed to.   
  
Happy birthday to me. There would be no presents. No cake. Just another year I’d actually survived under my belt.  
  
Grace might have done something for me if she’d still been around. For her birthday, I’d stolen half a dozen cupcakes from a bakery and we’d sat out in the woods and swapped ghost stories as we licked the frosting off our fingers.   
  
I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at the floor I was going to have to book it to make the nine-fifteen bus into the city.  
  
“Tobias!” a voice cried from somewhere across the street. “Tobias I’ve been looking all over for you! Why weren’t you in school?”  
  
Rachel.  
  
Why wasn’t she in school?  
  
“I’m not talking to you,” I said and kept walking.  
  
“You don’t have to talk then,” Rachel said. “Just listen.”  
  
I stopped but didn’t look at her. The cars whizzed by on the street by my left. On my right, Mrs. Eden was coming out to get her morning paper. “All right,” Rachel said and took a deep breath. “All right here we go. You can’t trust her.”  
  
I raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Tobias, you know they’re playing you, right?”  
  
“Playing me?” I echoed, looking up to her. “Rich coming from you.”  
  
“I’m sorry alright,” Rachel said. “I’m sorry I lied to you and I’m sorry you heard me talking to Cassie but I need you to put that behind you and trust me. She’s not who you think she is.”  
  
“And who the hell is she?”  
  
Rachel swallowed. “Your cousin, Aria. She’s not who you think she is and you can’t trust her.”  
  
“Aria?” I repeated. “Are you following me or something? How can you possibly know about Aria?”   
  
“I can’t tell you that,” Rachel said. “I wish I could, but I can’t and I can’t tell you why but you’ve got to watch your back. There’s something big going down and somehow you’re in the middle of it.”  
  
I tugged my jacket closer to my body as a chill snaked its way down my spine. “Middle of what? This have something to do with your _mission_? I heard you talking remember. Some sort of bet I think. See if you could make me believe you actually liked me.”  
  
“But I do like you,” Rachel said softly. There was something so honest, so genuine about her tone that I almost believed her.  
  
Almost.  
  
“Yeah,” I said, pointing past her. “Right. I’ve got to go or I’ll miss my bus.”  
  
“Tobias!”  
  
“I don’t want to hear it,” I said and paid my fifty cent fare for the ride into the city.  
  


***

  
  
_She’s not who you think she is._  
  
Walking into DeGroot’s offices, I couldn’t get the phrase out of my head.  
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
Fine, but no one’s who you think they are. Rachel is not the pretty blonde bimbo. Grace is not a faceless victim. The Sharing is not a family friendly fun time and I am not a wimp.  
  
For reasons unknown to me, I kept looking over my shoulder, but there was no one following me. Why would anyone be following me anyway? What had put Chapman and Rachel on my scent?  
  
I kept hearing voices, snatches of conversation that reminded me vaguely of those three days where I dreamed non-stop of the ocean.  
  
A squabble of pigeons scattered up from an alley as I passed. I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets.  
  
Aria hugged me when I entered DeGroot’s office. I stiffened in her arms. I wasn’t used to physical contact. Graces had been friendly, yeah, but she was more likely to tousle my hair than give me a hug. Aria’s hair smelled like lilacs. I thought of the foggy faceless women from my memories that was my mother and the even more amorphous notion of a father. Was this what it was like to have a family?  
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
DeGroot shook my hand and led me to his desk. DeGroot sat behind it. Aria and I sat on the opposite side. Aria squeezed my hand.  
  
“It is an important occasion,” DeGroot said with a certain aura of grandeur. “The document I have was left for Tobias by his father albeit a different man then previously believed to be his father.”  
  
It was my birthday. That was the special occasion. Wasn’t family supposed to remember your birthday? Why hadn’t Aria remembered?   
  
“Tobias?”   
  
I jerked back to reality. Aria smiled sweetly at me.  
  
“It’s all right to be nervous, sweetie. This is a big thing.”  
  
 _Tobias, you know they’re playing you, right?_  
  
“I’m okay,” I mumbled.  
  
DeGroot shuffled the papers on his desk and cleared his throat. “Since it seems you are ready, we may proceed.”   
  
“Just read it!” Aria snapped.   
  
My head whipped around her in surprise. She put a hand over her mouth, adjusted her dress and said, “I’m looking forward to seeing what this is all about.”  
  
She looked sweet, sitting there in a tasteful blue dress and he light sweater but I’d seen something in her face. Just a flicker and just for a moment but it was there.   
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
Who are you, Aria? And what the hell do you want with me?  
  
DeGroot fumbled in his desk drawer for his glasses, all the time keeping his gaze on my cousin. When he found then, he started reading shakily.  
  
"Dear Tobias. I am your father. You never knew me. And I never knew you. I do not know what your life has been over these many years. I hope that your mother found someone else to love. I know that all memory of me has been erased from her mind. All evidence of my time on Earth has been erased."  
  
Aria was staring at me. “What?” I hissed, shifting in my seat.   
  
DeGroot looked at me from under his glasses. “I said ‘All evidence of my time on Earth has been erased.’”  
  
I hadn’t really been listening the first time but the second time around the words registered properly. “Time on Earth erased? That’s insane right?”  
  
Aria was still staring at me but something different and cold had swept into her eyes. She glanced toward the lawyer. “Continue.”  
  
DeGroot nodded. "I am being given this opportunity to communicate with you by the very creature who has erased my life on Earth. He has called me back to my duty, and I cannot fail.  
  
"This will all seem very strange to you, my unknown, unseen, unmet son. But I am not one of your people. I have taken on the form of a human, but I am not human."  
  
“Not what now?” I echoed. “This is a joke, right?”  
  
The lawyer exchanged a look with Aria. There was something wrong with this whole thing. Who was Aria? She wasn’t my cousin. She couldn’t be. She did look like me, but that didn’t mean anything. Loads of people out there must look like me. She could be anyone. How could I check?   
  
But why would someone plot to pull one over on someone like me. I was nobody.  
  
“I was in a terrible war,” DeGroot read. “I did terrible things. I had to, I suppose. But I grew tired of war, so I ran away. I went and hid among the people of Earth. Among humans. While on Earth, and living as a human, I took the name Alan Fangor."  
  
Tobias Fangor. I guess it would have been as good a name as any other except for the fact that this mysterious father was supposedly an exiled alien passing for human. It didn’t sound like he was going to rescue me from my uncle and aunt’s so it really didn’t matter. I had more pressing things to deal with.   
  
But it seemed like it mattered to Aria. Like it mattered to DeGroot. DeGroot wasn’t even reading the letter anymore. He was staring straight at me with narrowed eyes, reciting the thing from memory.  
  
“I took the name Alan Fangor. But my true name is Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.”  
  
The room went silent as if expecting some cataclysmic reaction. Aria was staring at me. DeGroot was staring at me. I squirmed under their gazes. “Is that it?”  
  
The moment was gone. The hungry glint left Aria’s eyes. DeGroot deflated.  
  
“There's more,” the lawyer said and repeated, “But my true name is Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul. And though you will never know me and we will never meet, I wanted to make sure that you knew my disappearance from your life was not by my choice. I wanted nothing more than to live out my life, loving your mother and loving you as well.”  
  
“Elfangor,” I muttered. “He might as well have called himself Spock. What a way to skirt child support.”  
  
Aria had withdrawn her comforting hand from mine. DeGroot seemed increasingly disinterested. Something clicked in my head. This Elfangor must have been someone they knew. Someone important.  
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
“But I was part of something larger than myself,” DeGroot read, almost mumbling now. “I had my duty. There was a great evil I had to fight. There were lives I had to try and save. Including yours and your mother's. I am from a race called Andalites. Duty is very important to us. As it is to many, many humans. I cannot say that I love you, my son, because I do not know you. But know that I wanted to love you. Know that, at least.” DeGroot folded up the letter and sat up a little straighter in his chair. “It's signed Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul, Prince.”  
  
The walls were closing in on me. I could feel Aria’s breath on my neck. I had to get out of there. “So my dad’s still dead, right?”  
  
“Yes,” DeGroot said, pulling off his glasses and placing them carefully on the desk. “Yes it does seem rather like that.”  
  
I nodded. There was a clenching in my gut that I couldn’t quite explain and I thought just for a second that I could hear the ocean. I turned to Aria. “Have you talked to my uncle? I mean about me moving in with you.”  
  
Aria brushed her hair back behind her ear. “Tobias, I would love to take you in but I was—” She hesitated just long enough for me to know she was lying. “I was called with a job offer. I’m going to spend the next year in Australia on nature shoots.”  
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
“Great,” I said, smiling tightly. “Well it’s always nice to have family. Just wish they weren’t dead or on the other side of the planet.” I snorted. “I really should go home. My uncle’s probably waiting for me.”  
  
I turned to walk out of the room.   
  
"Tobias," Aria said.  
  
I stopped at the door but didn’t turn around. “Please don’t say you’re sorry.”  
  
“I knew your father,” Aria said. “We had our differences but the universe will not see the likes of Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul again.”  
  
“I don’t like the word crazy,” I said, not unaware of the irony, “but you’re claiming to have known an alien.”  
  
Aria opened her mouth. Closed it again. I walked out the door.  
  
I heard voices drifting through the office door. “Should we take him?” DeGroot said. “Make him one of us just to be safe?”  
  
I hesitated just for a second. Aria said. “He’s a waste of a yeerk. A pathetic little dreamer. Elfangor would be ashamed. Still, I am not someone to be under-cautious. Dispose of him.”  
  
I tried not to speed up my pace. This was something I hadn’t heard, couldn’t let them know I heard. The receptionist smiled at me. I held it together until I made it outside. The sun was shining. The clouds were billowed up high. It didn’t look like a day when anything bad could happen.  
  
Aria was a yeerk. There was a cold knot twisting in my stomach. That was supposed to be family. My way out. But I didn’t have a way out.  
  
 _She’s not who you think she is._  
  
Rachel. She’d tried to warn me somehow. She’d known. But how? If she was a yeerk like I suspected, what possible advantage could she get from tipping me off to their game.   
  
There was a hawk soaring on the thermals in the sky.  
  
My father, whoever he was had fought these things. Rachel was fighting these things.   
  
The day seemed a little brighter. Even to someone with a death sentence hanging over his head.   
  
I stuck to the crowds as I made my way back to my house, trusting people to be enough to keep me safe. I couldn’t go to the next Sharing meeting. I couldn’t go wondering in the woods like I used to when Grace was around.  
  
My uncle was gone when I got back to the house and I padlocked the doors and shut all the windows. No one was going to get me in here if I didn’t let them in. I wasn’t going to let anyone in. Anyone could be the enemy.  
  
My cat strolled through the room, rubbing my leg as it past.   
  
“Hey, Dude,” I said, stroking his fur as I sat down heavily on the couch. “It’s been a long, long day.”  
  
« It’s about to get longer, » Dude told me with resignation.  
  
I shot up from the couch. Please say yeerks didn’t infest my cat with intent to kill me. After all this that would just be embarrassing. “You-you-you’re my cat.”  
  
« And you’re going to die if you don’t get out of this house in the next twenty seconds. »  
  
“What the hell are you talki—”  
  
« Run. » Dude said.  
  
I started running toward the backdoor fueled by instincts I didn’t quite understand. On my left I caught a glimpse of a body lying on my uncle’s bed, neck smeared in red. I tore the back door open.  
  
Behind me, the world exploded.  
  
And right before everything went black, I could have sworn I heard Grace whispering in my ear.  _You can win._


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up in stages. My head was throbbing. I couldn’t feel anything below my right elbow. There were voices hovering somewhere above me, things I didn’t quite understand and didn’t want to.  
  
“---Can’t believe you’re thinking about this again---“  
  
“---different this time. We actually---”  
  
“---Elfangor’s son. How do we know this is even ---”  
  
“---Visser Three’s gunning for him. If we let him walk out, we’re good as---”  
  
I moaned and shifted. All of the voices went quiet at once and when I woke up again the world was quiet. My nose twitched. I was in a barn of some sorts. My right wrist was splinted and wrapped tightly in gauze I sat up. My body screamed. I looked down to see a patchwork of burns lacing most of my skin. I tried not to cry out in pain.  
  
“Tobias.”  
  
There was a guy sitting on an upturned bucket about a yard from myself. He was my age but bigger then my slight stature. He had dark hair, dark eyes and a hint of authority around him.   
  
“Jake?” I said.  
  
A second later I remember my operative theory of the past year.   
  
Yeerks. I lunged at him screaming in pain as the burns tugged mercilessly at my skin. “You’re not going to take me,” I muttered. “No. No!”  
  
“Calm down,” Jake said, dodging nimbly out of the reach of my sloppy attack. “I’m not going to hurt you but you can definitely hurt yourself.”  
  
“Yeerk,” I spat.   
  
Jake blinked. “How do you know about the yeerks?”  
  
“You’re going to pay for what you did to Grace. You’re not going to take me.” I clapped a hand over either ear. My right wrist throbbed at the motion.  
  
“Tobias, calm down,” Jake said. “It’s not what you think.”  
  
“Then you didn’t blow up my house to smoke me out? You didn’t send a girl to follow me around for days just to get close to me? I’m not going to let you win this one.”  
  
“You know you’re really not the same guy you used to be,” Jake said lightly.  
  
“Yeah, well. That makes two of us.”  
  
Jake smiled and shook his head. “You know there’s a war going on here, right?” He leaned forward with earnest eyes. “Well then let me tell you something; it’s not entirely one sided.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Let me tell you a story,” Jake said. “It starts in the old construction site a little more than a year ago. There was this fight and a spaceship crashed as four kids were taking a shortcut home from the mall.”  
  
I remembered that. The rash of UFO sightings. The manhunt for the teenagers setting of fireworks. It was all overshadowed by Grace’s disappearance a few days later but I remembered that.”  
  
“And there was a survivor of this crash,” Jake continued. “An Andalite Prince named Elfangor who told those kids that there was a fight going on. That their planet was in danger. He gave us away to fight.”  
  
 _The andalites._  Grace whispered in my ear.  _They’re the only things yeerks are really afraid of._  
  
“Elfangor?” I asked. “My supposed father, the alien? In case you forgot, that’s not really physically possible. There’s no way an alien could have a human kid. It’s basic anatomy!”  
  
“We got a tip from someone deep in the yeerk organization,” Jake continued. “All of a sudden everyone quite interested in this kid named Tobias. He didn’t know why but we knew you had to be important.”  
  
“But I’m not!” I insisted. “I’m just a kid.”  
  
“So are we,” Jake said, a smile twisting up his face. “And we figured if the yeerks were interested, we animorphs needed to be interested too.”  
  
“Animorphs?” I echoed.   
  
Jake laughed but it sounded hollow. “You see Elfangor---your father---gave use a gift. Something we could use to fight the yeerks.” He glanced around the room. “Guys, looks like it’s showtime.”  
  
From the stall two down from mine, a wolf prowled out and smoothly started changing shape. A snake writhing on the ground started growing legs and arms. A grizzly bear lumbered in from outside, shaggy brown hair and enormous stature melting into Rachel. A bird fluttered down from the rafters, and started to grow.  
  
Jake cleared his throat. “Marco, Cassie and Rachel you already know.”  
  
I wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to any of them though. I was watching the hawk that had sprouted four blue legs. It looked like a centaur except for the blue fur and the stalk eyes swiveling back and fourth from the top of his skull.  
  
“And this is Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. We call him Ax for short. He’s--- well he’s your uncle, I guess. Elfangor’s little brother.”  
  
Despite everything a pang swept through me. Family. Real, albeit slightly bluer then expected family.  
  
« It is a pleasure to meet you. » Ax said and offered me a hand.  
  
His hand was weak with too many fingers, but an unexpected peace settled over me. “Likewise,” I said around a constricting throat.  
  
I coughed. “So which one of you was my cat?”  
  
“That would be me,” Marco said, hissing a little as the snake tongue turned back into a human one. “And you’re welcome.”  
  
“The yeerks think you’re dead,” Jake continued ignoring the distraction. “The press is calling it a gas leak. A tragic accident.” He sighed. “Which is our best case scenario but you have to understand you can’t go back.”  
  
“Back to what?” I said, still distracted by the alien’s prescience.  
  
Cassie stepped forward. “The way we see it, there are two options.”  
  
“One option,” Marco grumbled.   
  
“Two options,” Cassie asserted. “First, you can leave town. Change your name and change your identity. Disappear and start life over. You can forget about all of this.”  
  
I thought of Grace not leaving town when she’d had the chance. I though of her tombstone and what bravery had bought her. I thought of Elfangor, this elusive real father, giving tremendous power to four humans in his final moments.   
  
“I can’t just leave,” I whispered. “You said there was—”  
  
“No!” Marco exploded. “Don’t you get it? There is no option two. There is no other way. You’ve got to leave and forget any of this ever happened. Am I the only one who remembers the last time?”  
  
“Last time?”  
  
“We recently had someone else in a similar position to yours,” Jake explained stoically. “It didn’t work out.”  
  
“What happened to him?”  
  
“He’s dead,” Rachel said firmly.   
  
Five sets of eyes found various places on the floor. I swallowed. The yeerks thought I was dead. My life here, with my aunt, it was gone. I couldn’t miraculously reappear without alerting the yeerks to my presence but I couldn’t just leave knowing full well the dangers that were out there. “What’s the second option?” I asked again.  
  
Jake pulled up the bucket he’d been sitting on and grabbed a small blue box from underneath it. He turned it over once in his hands and said, “This power we have? The ability to become any animal. We can give it to you as well. You can stay here and help us.”  
  
Something twitched in my stomach. The pain from the burns and my mangled right arm was almost unbearable. I took a deep breath.  
  
“Take your time, Tobias,” Cassie said. “Well understand if you just walk away.”  
  
“Might even prefer it,” Marco muttered.  
  
“I’ll do it,” I said almost inaudibly.  
  
“What was that?” Jake asked.  
  
“I said I’ll do it,” I repeated, sitting up just a little straighter.   
  
“That’s my boy,” Rachel said.   
  
Jake glanced to Cassie and then handed the blue box to Ax. In the alien’s hand it started glowing slightly, accentuating the light pattern around it’s rim. I felt an unexpected wave of clam wash over me like this was something good and something right. « Press your hand to the side of the device. »   
  
The box was warmer then I had expected and there was a tingle that snaked up my arm. I thought of soaring through the sky like a bird of a prey, thought of tearing through the forest like a wolf. I let my hand drop to my side. “What happens now?” I asked.  
  
Jake clapped me on the shoulder. Marco eyed me with suspicion. The alien gave the blue box to Cassie. Rachel smiled at me. “Now we fight.”


End file.
